For the past 6 months I kept telling myself “As soon as I know it I’ll be in his arms again” or “As soon as I know it I’ll be walking down the aisle” or “As soon as I know it I’ll be driving that moving truck to Missouri and unpacking my furniture into our new house”. But now I keep telling myself “It’s only a few days away, am I ready for this”. An emotional wreck is what I am. I’m happy. I’m sad. I’m confused. I’m sure I can handle then ext chapter of my life. The chapter of love, the chapter of new beginnings, and sad endings. In the next few days my life is going to turn completely upside down. I’m going to be with the love of my life again after only seeing him the total of a month this past year, I’m getting married on Saturday, taking my State Board Cosmetology exam on the following Monday, and than off to my new home hundreds of miles away in missouri to be with my very much missed Sweet Pea. I’m excited. I’m scared. I’m a wreck. 

I believe this all came real to me last night after all my friends left my house after my bachelorette party. I sat in my bed and read all my letters they left me and realized what truly great friends I have, and haven’t realized it till I’m about to say my goodbyes. And I hope there not my last because I love these girls who I call my best friends and I really believe they will be in my life for the long run.

When it comes to my family now, I’m honestly not sure if I’m ready to leave them behind and start this new journey without them. I have been so dependent of them for the past 19 years of my life, and they have always had my back no matter what. I’m I ready to leave the daily comfort of being able to have my parents right by my side?

I believe it’t the appropriate time to force my self to be pushed out of my comfort zone, and to be thrown into new comforts and way of life. I need to rebuild myself, who I am and reassure myself that I am truly ready to spend a lifetime with Christopher Cody West, my lover since elementary. 

I’m ready, I am…